In an earlier submission, the much loved yet crazy mentalist had an eye test. This test was a little cause for concern as it could possibly mean she may have to wear glasses.
So off she went to have her eyes checked by the professionals, I did see her off in the morning and lo and behold she returned with not one pair of glasses but two. It appears the mentalist has something known as ‘Astigmatism’ which basically means…
Astigmatism is a common and usually minor condition of the eye that causes blurred or distorted vision.
It occurs when the cornea or lens is not a perfectly curved shape. Most people who wear glasses have astigmatism.
– quoteth the NHS
Now, cause for panic? Maybe in the first 10 minutes. A few questions racing through my head, oh you know the obvious things like.. ‘WHAT?! ASTIG WHAT?!’ Dargnabit!! Speak English, enough of this medical mumbo jumbo!?
Can she be cured?! What is this circa 1970?! .. You get the picture, anyhoo after all my fears, questions were put to rest. It appears the mentalist is fine, she will probably have to wear glasses but she looks darn good in them (imagine putting glasses on a red panda… That kind of cute) so she doesn’t look half bad in them.
The trouble tends to start when she manages to leave them somewhere and has no recollection of where in gods name she put them.
The conversations are often in the same vain :
Handsome rugged father (me): I see you’re not wearing your glasses
Mentalist: (smiles, looks coy)
Me: can you put them on please
Mentalist: * silence*
Me: anytime today would be great
Mentalist : but daddy …
Me: here we go..
Mentalist : I don’t know where, they are I had them.. Now they’ve gone ?!
Me: so you’ve lost them?
Mentalist : *shrugs*
Me: have you tried retracing your steps?
Mentalist: what does that mean? Are you joking? You joker? (Edit – more on the whole joker thing soon)
Me: ive told you … im batman..let’s go find them!
And off we go in hunt for the fabled glasses of the mentalist! This usually results with me on my knees crawling around, under various tents, beds, castles trying to find them. Which in turn leads to an aching back, due to the mentalist wanting pony rides. And the constant need to jump from a height and land on my back!
We do find them in the end,in the most awkward places, like in one of the vases, or one of the pots in the kitchen and even in a Wellington once. So there I am, all tuckered out usually laying flat on the floor from the hunting, back broken but victorious In a manner of speaking !
The mentalist puts her glasses on and shuffles off while I lay there in thought… Am I hungry? I deserve a treat! Do I? Well I did help the mentalist find her glasses? Sold! Bring on the cake!
Once that’s settled with my inner self, I attempt to roll to my feet. When in walks in the mentalist with a book
Mentalist : can we read daddy?
Me: of all the rooms, in all the house you had to walk into mine?
Mentalist: *giggles* but it’s my room daddy?!
Me: (looks around) so it is..?!You win this round!
Mentalist: falls to the floor laughing
Me:(I should do stand up)
Me: wait.. Where are your glasses?
Mentalist: (stops laughing, smiles) *shrugs*
Me: *facepalm* (with a healthy dose of laughter in the background)
This is mr j signing out