The Ghosts of Childhood Past and Future

Now I wouldn’t say I’m much of an attention seeking individual, nor would I warrant any attention of any sort I’m more the male version of plain Jane. A Simple Simon? Tim nice but dim? Something in that vain quite possibly (of course I’m being modest, I’m glorious (I kid of course))

See, growing up I do think I was more the reserved, shy, keep myself to oneself kind of child. I had a few friends, I wasn’t the popular sort more the nerdish, geeky guy, mop like hair and a little too much tooth in that toothy smile.

Thinking of how I was and watching my mentalist, currently prancing around with buttons. Carefree, boundless, energetic and completely happy I often wonder how different we are, was I this happy as a child? Now don’t get me wrong my childhood is nothing to complain about. I honestly do think I never wanted for anything, I got all I wanted. My father is and was stern but his bark often worse than his bite, and growing up with my siblings was an experience in itself. Did we get along? Nooo, not in the slightest, but I think this forged the strong bonds we have today, regardless of what we did and said we were always close and still are to this day (at least I think so anyway!)

I do wonder how similar we ( the mentalist and I) are. She’s so carefree and happy. Whereas I’m
More the quiet, calculating super villain. Anyhoo I digress, where was I… Ah yes childhood, would I change mine? Not in the slightest, of course there were ups and downs. But they’ve helped to mould and forge who I am today, am I happy being the person I am? Most days.. Yes

So what do I want for my brats as they speedily veer in to their teens and soon into adulthood? The answer to that of course is happiness, to grow up knowing they were loved, cared for, and look back on a childhood which included all the above ( love, laughter and happiness) what more could a parent ask for.

This is mr j signing out

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The Ghosts of Childhood Past and Future

The trials of an imaginary friend!

So it turns out the mentalist may have an imaginary friend (or so I thought) or is fast on the way to becoming an authoritarian figure of sorts, well an imaginary friend other than her stuffed beloved giraffe buttons ( where we still cant go anywhere without the pleasure of his faded, well worn bobble headed rear)

Now buttons has been the mentalists side kick for a good few years, always by her side during those tea parties. this is sometimes attended by a whole host of stuffed animals and myself from time to time. we tend to drink tea and talk about our day at work and school ( who needs a support group when you can unload all your problems onto a stuffed sheep?!)

But as of late it looks as though buttons seems to be taking a back seat, she seems a little more wrapped up in playing with her iPad and talking to Abraham, her ‘friend’.

Just the other day I was working away in the make shift office I have adjacent to the mentalists room when I hear ‘no Abraham, stand in the corner!?’. Hmm.. I thought ‘a little ominous… Meh! ‘ and continued to work. Not long after, as I’m typing away trying to get in to the groove, “no! Bring it to the carpet! Sit down Abraham!”

Meh, I’m sure you misheard…I tell myself as I continue working. “No Abraham lets play shopkeeper shopkeeper”. I pause and listen intently, yet again there is Abraham refusing to play shopkeeper. So naturally i start getting a little worried, diving in to the mentalists room I find her on the bed with her stuffed animals at the foot of the bed. Seeing this almost cult like gathering I ask ” what in gods name is going on here, you’re not summoning anything too unholy are you?!” I’m met with a response can only be described as giggling. As I sit on the bed looming over the mentalist followers (of sorts) i ask what she’s doing.

It seems the mentalist has started emulating her days at school, at home and Abraham appears is probably a boy at school in her class (who by the sounds of it, is not very well behaved)
That cleared up I go back to the office to write another bunch of reports and colour in various spreadsheets, as I walk and begin to get comfortable at my desk I hear a further “Abraham ! Go stand in the corner…”

Darg nabit! Abraham! Do as your told!
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The trials of an imaginary friend!

Glasses for classes

In an earlier submission, the much loved yet crazy mentalist had an eye test. This test was a little cause for concern as it could possibly mean she may have to wear glasses.

So off she went to have her eyes checked by the professionals, I did see her off in the morning and lo and behold she returned with not one pair of glasses but two. It appears the mentalist has something known as ‘Astigmatism’ which basically means…

Astigmatism is a common and usually minor condition of the eye that causes blurred or distorted vision.
It occurs when the cornea or lens is not a perfectly curved shape. Most people who wear glasses have astigmatism.
– quoteth the NHS

Now, cause for panic? Maybe in the first 10 minutes. A few questions racing through my head, oh you know the obvious things like.. ‘WHAT?! ASTIG WHAT?!’ Dargnabit!! Speak English, enough of this medical mumbo jumbo!?

Can she be cured?! What is this circa 1970?! .. You get the picture, anyhoo after all my fears, questions were put to rest. It appears the mentalist is fine, she will probably have to wear glasses but she looks darn good in them (imagine putting glasses on a red panda… That kind of cute) so she doesn’t look half bad in them.

The trouble tends to start when she manages to leave them somewhere and has no recollection of where in gods name she put them.

The conversations are often in the same vain :
Handsome rugged father (me): I see you’re not wearing your glasses
Mentalist: (smiles, looks coy)
Me: can you put them on please
Mentalist: * silence*
Me: anytime today would be great
Mentalist : but daddy …
Me: here we go..
Mentalist : I don’t know where, they are I had them.. Now they’ve gone ?!
Me: so you’ve lost them?
Mentalist : *shrugs*
Me: have you tried retracing your steps?
Mentalist: what does that mean? Are you joking? You joker? (Edit – more on the whole joker thing soon)
Me: ive told you … im batman..let’s go find them!

And off we go in hunt for the fabled glasses of the mentalist! This usually results with me on my knees crawling around, under various tents, beds, castles trying to find them. Which in turn leads to an aching back, due to the mentalist wanting pony rides. And the constant need to jump from a height and land on my back!

We do find them in the end,in the most awkward places, like in one of the vases, or one of the pots in the kitchen and even in a Wellington once. So there I am, all tuckered out usually laying flat on the floor from the hunting, back broken but victorious In a manner of speaking !

The mentalist puts her glasses on and shuffles off while I lay there in thought… Am I hungry? I deserve a treat! Do I? Well I did help the mentalist find her glasses? Sold! Bring on the cake!

Once that’s settled with my inner self, I attempt to roll to my feet. When in walks in the mentalist with a book

Mentalist : can we read daddy?
Me: of all the rooms, in all the house you had to walk into mine?
Mentalist: *giggles* but it’s my room daddy?!
Me: (looks around) so it is..?!You win this round!
Mentalist: falls to the floor laughing
Me:(I should do stand up)
Me: wait.. Where are your glasses?
Mentalist: (stops laughing, smiles) *shrugs*
Me: *facepalm* (with a healthy dose of laughter in the background)

This is mr j signing out

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Glasses for classes