I wait outside the school gates, surrounded by the usual groups and cliques. The air thick with activity and chatter, a few laughs, a few giggles and the odd squeal breaking the constant stream of babble.
Any second now I think to myself, trying to anticipate that one sound I am longing, nay dying to hear. My brain counting down the seconds… 3,2,1… Grrr… Nope… 3..2… Rrriinng… And so it begins!
The waves of children slow at first then amassing into a wave of heads and boisterous activity. I wait in line patiently for the reception class doors to open, standing behind parents that have been there waiting. As the doors open, the parents start shuffling forward all trying to get through a tiny gate some having the common decency to wait and queue patiently, others tend to squeeze through the tiniest gaps on order to get through the gate, some use their not so secret weapon their other children ! They casually push and coax their offspring to make their way to the front and collect their sibling (note to self have more children.. Scratch that train my cat to go forth and paw at the reception doors, further note to self .. Get a cat.. Oh and pick up milk )
As I queue patiently, while children and parents weave and push past me, I always tend to look for those parents who cut the line. It’s just interesting to watch, the technique and the response of the parent they’ve just pushed past.
There’s the ‘I’m on the phone’ technique, so I’m oblivious to any such queuing system or line, line?! What line?’
There’s the ‘shuffle and merge’ il just stand along side the front of queue, shuffle along and merge with queue as it progresses forward. ‘What?! I’ve been here all along!’
There’s also the (as mentioned before) send your children to do your dirty work. Push past the various other parties, parents and go collect your sibling. ‘Ah kids will be kids right?!’
So as I wait patiently and finally get to front to collect my dear mentalist. I am beckoned by the teacher ‘uh oh’ I think to myself. A whole host of scenarios run through my head … ‘Is she hurt.. Nah?! They would’ve called me otherwise!’
‘Has she been fighting?’ Nah she talks a big game, well as big as a 5 year old can do! But she’s a biter not a fighter. So she’s bit another child? Yes? No? Maybe?! She doesn’t really bite ?! Does she?!
As this plays over in my head I finally get to the teacher, and she asks me to take a seat. I do catch the mentalist from the corner of my eye sitting there all smug! I shoot her a glance and she responds with a toothy smile. ‘Great! I think, whatever crime she may have committed she looks quite proud of herself’
I give the teacher my full attention, as she talks to me my fears and worries are put to rest! Turns out they had eye tests, and apparently the little mentalist needs a further appointment. I begin to wonder what it would be like to have a bespectacled mentalist. But hey! As long as she hasn’t branded a fellow classmate with her teeth. With that we leave hand in hand, off home for more fun games and shenanigans!
This is mr j signing out