Breaking Dad

It’s 7pm, I’m sitting in my man cave the lights are off, I switch the TV on as it starts up I start to reflect on the past, present and future… Of Breaking Bad! How it all started, how it progressed, escalated and most importantly…How’s it all going to end?!? As I start the penultimate episode, and watch eagerly, excited and nervous on what in gods name is going to happen to Walter white (or hank from Malcolm in the middle for those of you familiar with the show, love hank ).

Perviously on breaking bad …Here we go…

As I watch in anticipation, I hear the basement door creak open. I look to the top of the basement stairs and see a mop of hair staring back at me… I hit the pause button and turn my gaze back to the top of the stairs which now seems to be vacant of hair, I move my gaze further down the stairs and see a shuffling mentalist, buttons (her stuffed giraffe) in hand moving down the stairs. I await her arrival, she stands before me holding buttons by his tail, the end of his tail in her mouth.

Me: well hello, aren’t you supposed to be in bed?
Mentalist: what you watching dad?
Me: you know you shouldn’t really answer a question with another question
Mentalist: why?
Me: *sigh*
Mentalist: can I have a piggy back?
Me: nope!
Mentalist: I want to stay with you
Me: you can’t, look how dark it is outside, it’s bedtime !
Mentalist: are you watching Breaking Bad?
Me: I am
Mentalist: me too ( promptly sits herself down beside me )
Me: whoa whoa whoa, bedtime!! C’mon! up!! Besides I don’t really want you to be THAT good at chemistry!
Mentalist: can I have a donkey ride?
Me: nope!
Mentalist: can I dance dad?
Me: ok ok.. 5 minutes
Mentalist: watch me!!
Me: I’m watching
(Queue 5 minutes of slow ballet like movements with a lot of spinning around and falling to the floor)
Me: that was glorious! C’mon! BED!!
Mentalist: Can I have some water dad?
Me: sure there’s some right there
(Now at this point she sits and slowly sips her water, watching me intently as I watch her swirl the water in the glass)
Mentalist: Daaaaad?
Me:(frustration starting to build) Yes…
Mentalist: when I was a little girl…
Me: Never mind that …bed!!
Mentalist: will you pick me up?
Me: Noo my shoulder hurts.. and you weigh a ton!
Mentalist: *giggles*
Me: Right I’m going!
Mentalist: ok.. Can you play breaking bad for me, before you go?
Me: il give you breaking bad.. Grr…
(At this point I pick her up, swing her over my shoulder as she laughs maniacally)

As I walk up two flights of stairs, the mentalist singing some ditty from school, my thoughts return back to Breaking Bad.. My excitement returning, anticipation building…

I plonk her in bed, tuck her in kiss her goodnight and return to the man cave! I settle in, grab the remote, glass of water in hand ready to watch. Before I hit play, i hear the familiar now terrifying sound of the basement door creaking open, the mentalist runs down the stairs…

Mentalist : I forgot baby buttons
Me: well you have him now … Can you please go to bed?
Mentalist: can I have a piggy back?
Me: (holds my head in my hands)

For those of you not in the breaking bad circle as of yet, where have you people been?!? Give it a whirl, I promise you you will not be disappointed.

This is Mr J signing out

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Breaking Dad

The Pick Up

I think I can well and truly say the mentalist has now settled in to school. She has began to give me a quick summary of what she’s done throughout the day, who she’s played with, what she’s played with (which often involves playdoh, a big fan of playdoh at the moment)

There’s also the school dinners, which I have to admit I was quite nervous about. As she does tend to eat like the Cookie Monster (OM NOM NOM NOM Cookie GONE), now I haven’t encouraged this method of eating… Well … Maybe a little, who doesn’t like the Cookie Monster…right? Now I have given her the whole low down on the knife and fork situation, she knows how to use them and will be a complete lady when she chooses to be. But this lady doesn’t come out very often, she tends to dive in with her hands and sometimes even her face.

So I pick her from school on a daily basis, there’s been the odd occasion where I’ve asked my dad to pick her up, when I’ve had meetings and things at work. Since this has happened, as soon as she comes out her reception class and sees me standing there she greets me with the following ‘ NO DAD! Noo!! I told you! I want grandad to pick me up! Why are YOU here?!?’ To which I smile nervously, and hurry her along while the rest of the parents (mostly consisting of mums) look on. I have noticed, though there are a lot of parents coming to pick up their children there aren’t many fathers or men. And there seems to be a whole clique thing going on, so I tend to people watch and try to decipher which one of the groups is the alpha group. Which ones are the shy and retiring, keep themselves to themselves group. And of course there’s the gossips, I tend to stand close to this group. Though I don’t mean to listen in they are funny.. Anyhoo while I stand there I have David Attenborough’s voice over going over in my head, something along the lines of … The alpha group tends to range from 2-3 members to a maximum of 4. The alpha leader instigating conversation and talking over the others cementing her role as the alpha …

This tends to go on in my head.. Well up until the bell rings and I’m greeted by an angry mentalist!

This is Mr J signing out

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The Pick Up

First Week of School – The Aftermath

Well the mentalist has been at school now for two whole weeks.. Bare in mind it’s still a half day. I have to say as anxious as I was about her settling in and mingling with the other children, I needn’t have worried.

She’s settled in perfectly fine and actually looks forward to going school. She’s made a few new friends, though she hasn’t formerly introduced herself as of yet as she still doesn’t know their names, but certainly does point out children in her class exclaiming ‘look daddy, she’s my friend!’. To which I respond ‘ oh that’s nice, so what’s her name?’ To which she shrugs her shoulders and replies… ‘I don’t know?’ Isn’t it quite something when kids come together, play together spend a good few hours together, enjoy each others company and leave, all with smiles on their faces!

So in order to get her to break the ice, I have asked her to introduce herself, taught her how to give a good hearty handshake (at this point I was tempted to put in a whole sequence of hand gestures and shakes, ending in a high five. But I don’t want everyone thinking she’s too out there.. Well not quite yet anyway) and introduce herself with a strong ‘Hi, I’m the mentalist… What’s your name?’ We’ve rehearsed this a few times, but she always tends to break into song when introducing herself (I probably make matters worse by joining in and finishing off with good old jazz hands).

Anyhoo, I’m happy to report the mentalist has settled in, made new friends… In a manner of speaking and hasn’t come home too cranky. But am I speaking too soon? Am I counting my chickens? It is next week when she starts her full days, I envision a whole new level of crankiness when she comes home. But I shall play it by ear and see how it goes…

This is Mr J signing out

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First Week of School – The Aftermath

First day of school

It’s been 4 years 2 months and 15 days since the mentalist came into my world and turned it all upside down. And it’s been an eventful few years I have to say a good mix of laughs, drama, tantrums, a whole lot of love, and a hell of a lot of tears! And that’s just been me!

So what’s got me reminiscing? Recalling the past? A little nostalgic even? Well my mentalist is starting school, she’s reached the grand old age of 4. And it’s time to get her in her uniform give her some words of advice like ‘try avoiding breaking out into song every 5 minutes’ and the ever important ‘try not to be shy’. The shy bit is quite a big thing for my mental one, as with most children they tend to hide their little personalities away in the presence of new people or children their own age.

So how am I feeling about the whole school thing? I don’t really know, I think it’s hit me that she’s grown up so much so quickly. Which still feels like a very short space of time, I look at her and see how excited she is, it fills me with joy on the one hand. on the other I think she can’t already be 4? It feels like only yesterday, I held her on my arms for the very first time thinking… Wow I made this … She’s beautiful… Am I holding her right? …. What’s that smell….?! Time does fly, it makes me question whether I spend enough time with my children, will they remember their father as a loving, doting, handsome individual of a man? Lets hope so!

I look over at her, parading around in her school uniform. Insisting I take pictures of her, so she can show all her grandparents and aunts. I look at my watch… Nearly time … I think! I seem to be more nervous than she is, as the time comes for school. I put her shoes on, grab her school bag and take one last look at her. To my surprise she gives me a hug, leaves the front door as i watch through the window. She waves at me and flashes me a smile, as she leaves from being my little girl, and jumps on the road to becoming a young lady…

This is Mr J signing out

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mummy mishaps

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First day of school